Monday, October 1, 2007
"I Am Whatever You Say I Am..."
It seems an age-old question, but it is one that may not have just one answer: to what extent do other people's perceptions of you have an impact on the decisions you make? One of the overwhelming-but certainly not the ONLY-theme of "Shooting and Elephant" asks us to evaluate just such a question. Peer pressure, parental pressure, self-imposed pressure, all these outside, or inside, forces have the potential to make you act, or react, in ways that you normally might not if never exposed to those influences. My question is: Why? Why do we care? Why is it important? Why do other people's perceptions or expectations of who we are have so much of an influence on us? Or do they? Tell me about it. (300 words/35 pts)
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Why should we care what others think of us? This is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. (That’s probably why I liked “Shooting an Elephant” so much) Why should I care if someone else doesn’t think my hair is nice? Why should I care if someone else does not think I am pretty enough? Why should care about what anyone else thinks about me other than myself? The people who sit back and judge me today will most likely not be the same people I even remember in ten, maybe even five, years from now. No one is going to remember the little things we stress over now in a couple years, unless they have completely no life at all. Even with knowing this, we all strive to fit in. We all want to be the person with a million friends. No one wants to be the person made fun of our left out. This summer, I decided I was not going to care what people thought of me anymore. Of course, I was not too successful in this. (But then again how could I be … I am a teenage girl in high school). I am constantly worrying about the way I look, not for myself, but so people will not wrongly judge me if I do not look my best. I am constantly worrying about the way I act, again not for myself, but so no one would think I am rude person. Thinking about the things I do just because of what other people say, or might say, makes me want to stop caring, but every time it comes done to it, I can not. I am not exactly sure why though. Maybe it is simply because people have done it for so long now; it has grown to be almost like breathing for us. Maybe it is because I am not confident enough in myself to just not care what anyone else says or thinks about me. Maybe it is neither of these. I’m not quite sure about why we care so much, but I am absolutely sure that if we all stopped caring we would all be happier because everything would be easier.
=)
Bunje, I would have to say that I really, really, really, really like this proposed question of this blog. Now that I've reached my junior year of high school and began taking AP classes, I've started to look into things more than I have before. We haven't even been in school one month yet and already I feel that I've learned a big lesson. It’s to not care what people think. With your class, reader response logs, and these blogs this is the first time I honestly felt that I could voice my own opinion without being judged or graded on it. In previous years, my teachers wanted me to write an answer on my test using their exact words or methods. I hate that! I feel that as long as I'm getting the correct answer it shouldn't matter how I got it, but yet it does to them. That was their personal expectation of their student, which took an influence on me. Now I catch myself saying to Darrell, "Why are you doing it that way? That's not the way Bunje told us!" But just because he's doing it a different way doesn't mean he's wrong and I feel bad for saying that. We are in school everyday for 180 days with teachers and of course they are going to take a toll on how we do our job, which is being a student. I just want to do what's right and if what's right is doing exactly what the teacher says to get a good grade I'm going to do it, but a different way isn't wrong, it's just different. Sometimes I wish I were back in kindergarden where you walked up to a little girl and started to play and talk with her as if you were best friends. People's opinions and perceptions that I hear everyday make this kindergarden scene almost impossible for me today. I also think it's because I'm older and have had more experience getting to know and trust people, but that's just me. All I know is I always try to make the right decisions with the way I was brought up and who I've been around all my life, because isn't that what makes me, well me?
If I did not have my brother, I’d be lost with the transition between each high school year. I wasn’t going to take any AP classes but because my brother did it, I applied and then after my sophomore year with AP Government I decided to take this lovely class along with AP History. The perception’s I feel like I have on my back and that make me feel like I need to be like my brother tend to come from my family. I feel like because my brother was in all the AP classes, 4th in the class, on Jeopardy, and a musical prodigy, that I have to impress people like he has. He wants what’s best for me, so I follow his instructions and if I don’t we won’t talk for a week and that hurts me emotionally and physically.
My family and what they think of me is very important. They were the ones that raised me, they put up with my temper tantrums, they’ve seen me during my worst moments, but through all of that they did not put me up for adoption, ha. Of course what they think has a huge impact on how I act and what some of my choices are. If my parents caught me drinking, I’d be shot and never let out of the house, so I don’t drink or smoke or curse. Well I don’t curse in front of them, only when I’m mad or upset. If they see that I did not hold a door for an older lady or if I forgot to say “please” or “thank you”, I’d get punished. I do sometimes believe they are harsh, but I believe parents should punish their kids if they aren’t polite when they should be. Politeness will send out a vibe to the people they are around.
My colleagues and what they think, make me who I am in school. I am the shy one when it comes to projects or speaking in front of the class. Every word that comes to mind is rethought about before anything escapes my lips. I’m scared of being laughed at behind my back and I’m scared to make my peers angry with what my thoughts are. If I don’t feel a good vibe from what I’m saying, I’ll start to ramble on and on until I just stop myself or someone stops me. Then my face will turn bright red and I’ll sink low into my chair and I won’t raise my hand until a discussion occurs about something I’m comfortable with. Unless I’m asked directly from a teacher I will not raise my hand unless I’m sure I know what I want to say.
My confidence level is low and having perceptions about me that compare my brother and me adds to my confidence level submerging and adds to the stress that school work and outside activities already apply. I wish I was not so unconfident in myself and what I do, but hopefully after I get out of my brothers shadow and I relieve some of the school stress, my grades will come up and I could start being the all around happy girl I usually am.
I completely agree with Becca. This is a question I ask myself more often than I used to. I have always cared what people thought about me. I never want to look bad, wear the wrong clothes, say the wrong things, hang out with the wrong people, or look dumb in front of my peers. But this blog has made me think about WHY I feel this way. Some days, I really do wish I could go back to preschool and kindergarten. Those were the days when everyone was friends with everyone, and the biggest fights were over who was using what color crayon. Now, we're all so much closer to being thrown into the real world. We are exposed to the hardships of life, stresses we have never felt before, and the relationships that some of us have held strong for years are being pushed to the limits. Plus, with AP kids being totally OCD about almost everything, we have to do everything right all the time. Right now, we care about what people in school think because we need grades, recommendations, and extracurricular activities to get into college. Once we are almost finished college, we are going to need resumes and recommendations and maybe more grades for either a job or graduate school. Every stage in life, we are going to meet times when we have to care what people think.
Peer pressure exists everywhere, whether we are in school, at work, or just riding a train. People always judge other people upon their first sight of the person. People are given labels without the labelers even have talked to the person. We have peer pressure to not be given the "wrong" label. Life really would be so much easier if we all looked the same, lived in the same kind of house, and made the same amount of money. However, life would be so much more boring without all the things that make us different. And even though we should not succumb to peer pressure, msot people do at one time or another.
Society has molded us to believe that there is only one acceptable way to go about different aspects of our lives. Why? I really don’t know. I guess it had to start somewhere far back and that notion has just been passed down. Why we fall for these pressures is beyond me, but it is inevitable that we all do at one time or another. For example, Hollywood has made the ridiculously thin, tall, sick model figure popular, which makes so many young girls strive for that thinking that’s what is “in”. Innumerable girls look up to that as what is right, when really that is unrealistic without doing harm to one’s body. But, people are willing to do almost anything to fit in. We can not please everyone so why bother trying?
Obviously we feel pressures from almost every aspect of our lives--school, parents, teachers, and even friends. Especially this year, when college and grades are in the forefront of our minds, I know I feel immense pressure to succeed in all of my classes and to maintain standards that I consider acceptable. The pressures that I am feeling recently don’t come from my friends or my teachers, not even my parents, but from me. My parents have instilled the building blocks that I need to succeed and beyond in my life, now it’s time for me to prove myself. And with that, comes a lot of pressure, self inflicted I must admit. What is really going to happen if I get a bad grade on a test? My parents aren’t going to punish me, my friends won’t look at me any differently, and my teachers will probably not even notice, but to me the impact is huge. My environment has definitely helped shape the way I view myself. We are under so much pressure because that is what deemed acceptable nowadays, it is so important to succeed in school, to get good grades, that that notion alone puts stress on almost every student. Sure, there are times when we all give in to peer pressure or allow our friends or family to influence our decisions, but ultimately I believe it is our choice what we do. While it may be difficult, we can chose whether or not to succumb to the peer pressure or other’s perceptions we are faced with everyday. The truth is, true friends will be your friend no matter what and your family will always be your family. But, unfortunately, it is easy to put on a façade and lose yourself in the process of growing up. I think that many teenagers go through high school being the person their friends want them to be or the person they think is “cool”. But when they hit the real world, who are they then? They are lost and have to rediscover who they are, when most likely that will be impossible because they have been pretending for so long, they do not know what is real or fake anymore. There is only one person we all need to impress and that is ourselves.
Ever since I was very young, my confidence level has been very low. I was never the prettiest, skinniest, or smartest girl in my school. Coming from a family where my brother can fix anything and my other brother is a computer genious, I feel as if I have this constant pressure to be better than them. Teenagers today judge you on everything including clothes, looks, and even who you hang out with. In school you are constantly being bombarded with homework and are always reminded to be the best singer, actress, or athlete in whatever we do. Even my brothers constantly tell me that everything I do now, they have already done, and for me to say it is hard is completely wrong. Having a low confidence makes me constantly care what people say. It doesn't matter who says it, but what they say means alot to me. When you are being constantly ridiculed for a certain trait, you start to believe it and eventually you will care. At home, at school, and with friends, their many perceptions of me influence the choices I make in life. My friends have been around me for most of my life, but to say that they know everything about me is completely wrong. They don't know what makes me upset and what makes me feel the pressure. Little insults or comments constantly get to me and make me want to up my game in everything I do, which eventually consumes my life. But I always wonder that if I haven't had those insults whispered in my ear, would I have been able to push myself to be the best I can be? Maybe we are meant to have peer and parental pressures to, not overwhelm us, but give us that extra shove to greatness. But who do we have to impress? The only answer is ourselves. In the end, the decisions that we make come down to us. "All men are created equal," as we said in class. To me, this quote means that we all have the potential to achieve anything we want, but whether we choose to apply ourselves is where equality is changed. We are all born with the ability to be anything we want, but the many pressures we have discourage us from actually trying and in the end we fail. If we keep a good attitude through what we do, we may actually achieve something great. Instead of listening to all those people saying, "You can't," you will start to say, "I can," and those pressures that we constantly feel will soon be a thing of the past.
I don’t believe in peer pressure I think it is a sign of weakness and I am not susceptible to it, yet a lot of us are. I think the reason I personally am not susceptible to peer pressure has everything to do with parental pressure which in my case is the biggest pressure I face. My parents always instilled in me and my brother to be leaders not followers and the pressure of being a leader is far worse then being a follower. Following is easy, simple and accepted. Because more than half of society suffers from peer pressure, the leaders are the minority, we are the ones that everyone looks to for advice, to set examples, and lead! With being a leader we deal a lot with self-imposed pressure, we have to avoid failure, a big fear for a leader, and yet people who give in to peer pressure don’t have this pressure. And yes these pressures influence everything we do, for the most part that is. Especially how we dress, talk, and act. I know a lot of the times as teenagers we all must fit in and do what everyone else is doing yet without the pressure of our peers a lot of us might change.
Pressure influences us so much because how we are perceived is important. Your reputation in most cases is a lot. No one wants to be labeled therefore people may do what’s expected to allow certain perceptions to stick with their name. Yet if we act a certain way because of pressure then aren’t we all liars. Aren’t we faking to be something we really aren’t? And what if no one was pressured what would become of our society? Would it crumble because the drive for exceeding expectations was gone? Or would we all just accept each other and live in harmony with our selves? But we need pressure to divide us and set our destiny, without it we might be worse off than before.
Perception, a concept that applies to almost everyone in today’s world, is of key importance. Nowadays, perception is what earns most people their rank in society. Perception is vital, especially during events such as job interviews. Perception, however, can have some negative effects. Perception limits an individual’s personality and uniqueness. In high school, most teenagers seek to be “cool”, a word that has multiple meanings. If you are different in someway, then you are usually singled out. There is no reason for being singled out, except that you have maintained your individuality. I personally believe that you should maintain your individuality, as it can save you from several things. Individuality can save you from peer pressure, which can in turn save you from things such as drugs and sex. The simplest reason as to why most people care about how they are perceived is that they wish to fit into a group and gain recognition/attention. Perception is important, as it determines who we are going to be amongst, if anyone. Depending on how you are perceived, you will reach what stages you do throughout your life. I personally have little care for how people might perceive me. Junior year in high school has taught me, so far, to put such futile matters aside. Most people overlook the fact that there are other things, besides perception, which shape them and give them their social status in today’s society. If thought about too much, then the concept of perception occupies an individuals mind, over other important matters. This would force an individual to attempt to be “perfect”; a word that can’t truly applies to people in today’s society. Perception seems, to me, to be a double-edged concept. People shouldn’t waste time on attempting to please other, at least not in high school.
Bob Marley once said, “Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living? In my opinion if an individual isn’t content with their life or the way their living it, they will change who they really are to fit in and be accepted. It’s harder to be accepted as an outcast rather then the popular girl or guy that everyone loves, although how much of that is real? How much does a person change themselves to be popular? From experience I can say that there was a time when I was a completely different person just so I could be one of the “popular” girls. For the longest time I comprised my own happiness for popularity. Although with time I started realizing that it was my insecurities that were keeping me from being myself. Time is something that never stops and as everyday passes you will continue to be the person you’re not, or you’ll wake up one day and be the person you’ve always been. It’s a terrifying thought not to be accepted by your peers. All that fear is what influences a person to do things that usually wouldn’t seem morally correct to him or her. Peer pressure, parental pressure, self-imposed pressure, all of these forces can allow a person to get rid or their moral codes and become or do things that, in end, will be regrettable. What isn’t regrettable is the power to say no, the power to over come peer pressure, parental pressure, or self-imposed pressure. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” this is a well known quote that has been used by children for years, usually passed down from each generation to the next. My grandmother would tell me to say this to the kids that use to tease me in school, but nine times out of ten this saying didn’t serve its justice. Even though my exterior may seem tough and I may have acted like the names kids called me didn’t bother me, when I went home tears would fill my eyes. No one wants to be teased or called names and the only way to rid that problem is to change the feature about you that you’re being teased for. Say for instance you’re being teased because you have glasses; you go to the eye doctors and get contacts, or you being teased because your arms are hairy; you go and shave your arms. When your self confidence is torn down its hard to build it back up, but when you do most times changes will be made and you’ll become someone your not just so you won’t be targeted and be teased. After falling of a horse it isn’t uncommon for a person to just give up, but the will to get back on is far better then just giving up. I have come to learn that people will always talk about you, whether it is from jealousy or just hate, they will always talk. What I realized though is that its only talk, it’s their desperate attempts to try and bring me down. I am whatever I say I am, and if you don’t like then that’s too bad.
A lot of people’s actions are influenced by other people and what other people think of them. People usually act different to fit in with people and not stick out as being different. People are usually scared to be different. Peer pressure is something is always occurring, no matter how much you don’t want to think so. You are always influenced some how by other people’s perceptions of you. This stands true all throughout school, especially high school and even moves on in the work place as an adult. Competition between people also plays a big part in being pressured to do things. Parents make you act in ways you probably wouldn’t. They tell you to do things that you probably think are wrong. This is because different age groups think differently. Sometimes you have to learn from personal growth. The only way I think my parents could really influence me is through being scared of what the punishment might be from doing something they think is wrong. It is hard for someone to influence me by telling me of their own experiences because I am the type of person who has to see things for myself. When exposed to different groups of people, different environments, and different age groups, you tend to act in ways that make you more similar to those people than different. A lot of people probably try to say that they don’t care. In all actuality, they do care somewhere on the inside because everyone has a conscious. It may not affect them in a negative way, but somewhere on the inside, they are aware of it. Other people’s perceptions or expectations of who we are have so much of an influence on us because we want to fit in and we want to be liked. No one wants to be disliked or singled out. A lot of people recognize this and that is why other people influence them in being who they are.
Hi, everybody!
Peer pressure is something that, as kids we are told to avoid. “Just say No!” But, to me, the decisions we make aren’t ever really made to satisfy others. I think that we make decisions, even the wrong ones, in hopes that it will benefit ourselves. Students decide to take AP classes in hopes that they will learn more than the average Joe and be able to jet a better paying job than the average Joe. When teens ask their parents if they can go to a party, and their parents say no, they make the decision to sneak out thinking that if they do not get caught, they will benefit socially from this party and satisfy their parents wishes. In my eyes adolescents is a very selfish time in our lives. As students in high school, we certainly care about how other perceive us, and we always want to look better than those around us.
But what is “looking better” to others? In my opinion, being perceived better than others varies differently for each person and that is how the different decisions are made. Some people may think that spending more time with their friends than on school work makes them seem like a better person. On the contrary, some people may think that school work and family is most important in their lives and they care more about how their teachers and their family perceive them. All of these priorities in a persons mind are placed in an order, which is thought by that person, to benefit that individual. Outside pressures determine the way we classify good and bad, they determine the way we see the rest of world, they determine the way we live, and this ultimately influences the decisions we make.
Be honest, how many of you actually read all of the other postings that our fellow classmates type up for this blog? Those of you who do, do it because you know that by seeing the opinions of others, it will expand your own ideas about the topics Miss Bunje posts. Those of you who don’t, you probably have a lot of things on your agenda, and taking the time to read the opinions of your classmates would take precious time away from the other homework or tasks that you have to complete. My point is, we make decisions that we feel will benefit ourselves, and we find out what is beneficial to us by observing our surroundings and those around us. So, to officially answer the question, yes, I think that the pressures around us influence our decisions. However, I do not think that we make decisions specifically for others for the reasons above.
I think that the society we live in makes us care so much about what people think.. we're kind of expected to care. I mean to a point it DOES matter what people think. It's always good to make a good first impression on someone and you don't want to walk in on your first day of work in a "barely there" skirt and have a co-worker call you a "dirty whore." (Now that was using your invective, Bunj.)And when people's perception of you is positive, then who is to say that that's such a bad thing? I think it's ok for someone to want to make friends and want people to think that they're a nice person.. that's natural. The negative side of it is when that person lets caring about other peoples' perceptions influence their thinking AND their actions. But even peer pressure isn't ALL that bad. For example, bad peer presure would obviously be if a friend asked you to smoke pot and was trying to pressure you into it. A good example of peer pressure would be if your other friend reminded you of how dumb you used to think smoking was and talked you out of it. I don't know why I'm trying to be the "devil's advocate" here, but I think that peer pressure is kind of overrated. Well, I don't know if I would say overrated. It's true that more than ever before, kids are getting bullied in school and outside of school. That's wrong. But aren't we also supposed to be the generation of kids who keep on speaking out in rates that keep alarming adults? I always hear teachers and adults talking about this, about how our generation is so corrupted and not softspoken. My question is (and I know that we're technically not suppposed to be posing our own questions in this blog but answering your questions, Bunj) if that is the case, then why can't this generation stand up to peer pressure if they aren't affraid to talk back to adult figures/parents? What do we care about what people think, because "we do what we want"? I think that as AP kids, we're probably the most well-off in not caring what people think. I mean, we were the geeks who actually ELECTED to take a college class, knowing how much work we would get.
"Life really would be so much easier if we all looked the same, lived in the same kind of house, and made the same amount of money." <-- And Hannah, you really sound like a crazy socialist with this sentence. Hahaha but I do agree it would be a lot easier.
"To what extent do other people's perceptions of you have an impact on the decisions you make?" ABSOLUTELY NONE WHATSOEVER. Before I continue, I just wanted to say Thank You, Bunje, for asking this question. Now, sit back, and buckle up.
Other people's perceptions of me have no effect on my life, whatsoever. If they did, I would be a size-zero-anorexic-tight-shirt-wearing-Justin-Timberlake-worshipping FOOL. In other words, the exact opposite of me.
Of course, people try to change me, and some doofus always will try. But I guarantee it will never ever work. Like every single time I go clothes shopping. Mom will drag me to the "girl's" section, tell me "how cute" I'd look in all the clothes, force me to try it all on, and then get pissed when I dump every piece back onto the "returns" rack. You just can't change me; my mom's been trying ever since I could dress myself!
"Oh but Courtney, you have such gorgeous hair! You should wear it down more often!" No. "Why not?!" No. It's too hot, and the rat's nest will suffocate me. So, bun it is.
"Courtney, why do you have to wear that stupid hat?" That's my Shore Fellowship hat you're referring to, which is my absolute favorite hat of all time. So, I'm going to wear it.
"Courtney, you're so stubborn!" (put in nice terms) Darn tootin'.
In all honesty, however, I cannot say that my life has been completely without input. My brothers have played a major role in developing the Courtney T you all know and love (or don't like so much but whatever). The Red Hot Chili Peppers, are, without a doubt my favorite band. I've basically memorized Stadium Arcadium (which should have beat the Dixie Chicks but don't get me started on that), and I have my brothers to thank for showing them to me. My make-up-less appearance is brought to you by the fact that my brothers never wore make-up (thank you, Jesus), so I felt I didn't have to either. The fact that I don't drink or do drugs is because of my brothers, too. I probably wouldn't be me without them.
Reading other people's blogs, what I see is that many people are "inconfident" in themselves, due to society's perceptions of them. That kind of upsets me. I think everyone should rise above society's standards and stand out in life. Don't be remembered as just another student. Be remembered as " Your Name Here. "
"The people expected it of me and I had got to do it; I could feel their two thousand wills pressing me forward, irresistibly... Here was I, the white man with his gun, standing in front of the unarmed native crowd — seemingly the leading actor of the piece; but in reality I was only an absurd puppet pushed to and fro by the will of those yellow faces behind." explained Orwell. Almost everyone in this world has had a time when they have fallen to pressure. Pressure is a horrible thing in some cases, and other times a good thing. Today many people are seen as what they wear or do, and I am really starting to wonder why does everyone care. When pressure is in the air the task seems irresistible but many of the times it is best if we walk away. The word pressure is defined as the weight of social or economic imposition. And to me the added on to this definition should be "a ridiculous way to make someone do something they don't want to." We do things under pressure because we do not want to be laughed at or feel under everyone else. Everyday I see people under all the kinds of pressure because they feel they need to fit into a group. Others pressure themselves because they want to do something for the better, but these are not the pressures talked about in Shooting an Elephant. Many people act under pressure because they feel they must. But in reality they don't have to do anything they feel is wrong. I feel jealousy is a major role of pressure. People want to be others because they feel they are not pretty enough or cool enough. And I feel everyone should just be themselves and be happy with that idea. Pressure is many of times the equation of wrong doing because one feels entitled to do so. What people think is also another problem in today's society. People's feeling toward others is a great deal and can affect life in many ways. The way you dress, act, talk, look, walk, etc., can make you or break you and sadly this is true. Some people are just that way and some jobs are too. And when someone has certain expectations of you and you may not reach them once or always is another thing that may bring you down. All this just falls into our love/hate society.
To me personally pressure is just stupid. But as everyone does, I sometimes fall into situations where pressure affects me. Even though this happens to me I have a way of dealing with it and will never let pressure turn me onto a wrong path. I will never be pressured to do any kinds of drugs or anything in relation. Pressure can be a life ruiner and can lead to many bad things. So, I feel everyone should always do what they feel is right. As Orwell stated in his text Shooting an Elephant that he felt as if he must shoot the elephant, even though he knew it was wrong is an example of not knowing how to back down. The character in the story did not want all the people he felt pressured by to laugh at him. So instead he took an elephant's life. Overall, I just feel that people's perceptions matter so much because no one is strong enough to always back down and no one wants to feel under someone else. And this shouldn't be such a big deal because everyone is different and great in their own ways. The more and more I see how materialistic and pressuring people are the less I like them. And I constantly ask myself why any of this stuff affects me? And the answer is I honestly don't know. But yet it will still always be there on my shoulder along with the horrible word pressure. Expectations are sometimes good and other times bad just like pressure. When someone has an expectation of me I always try to do my best to reach it, and if I don't I really don't care because I did my best and don't need them if they can't accept me the way I am. And I personally like everything about me so these silly things can't change me for the worse. So anyone can try, but it won't work.
This is probably the greatest question ever asked for a teen in high school, why do we care about what people think of us.
I’ve always been the same kid since I was younger. I’m outgoing, friendly, loving, helpful, and I do what I want. I also know how to be serious and work hard. I’ve always seen many of my friends change their mentality and the way they act when certain people are around. I think people do this to be noticed. Kids want to be known throughout the school and be popular and not be left out. This is sad, that because of peer pressure people change. I think some kids thrive to be popular or to be known. I think some kids need attention. I think that this is all a whole bunch of B.S..
But there are some that live off the expectations of others. I want to be the drum major for the Oakcrest Marching Ambassadors next year. By me fulfilling this goal I need to prove to everyone I can be responsible and I can be a true leader. I have to start this year. Others thrive in the expectation of their parents or others. These individuals don’t want to let down anybody. Kids like this want to show everybody, they can do anything, so they fulfill the goals given to them rather then their own goals.
I can’t really speak for everybody in the world. But I can speak for those I car about. You don’t need to be popular, you don’t need to be known by everyone, all you need to do is act yourself and follow your own goals. You have the freedom to do what you want. You have the freedom to make your own decisions. You don’t need to be like everyone else but only yourself. I’ve learned if I just be myself, then I will always have friends, instead of making up stories or bragging all the time to look better then what you truly are. Kids our age will learn that they don’t have to impress others to become friends.
I assure you, there is no set answer or single answer for a person. It changes every day, every hour, and sometimes every choice. Some people thrive off of other people’s opinions and expectations while others shun them. There are so many events in my life and the observations that I’ve seen in others to describe how or why or why not outside pressure has affected people.
I think at the basis of peer pressure is acceptance, of parental pressure is expectations, and of self-imposed pressure is purpose. We want to be accepted by peers, have our parents be proud of us, and find what in the world our life is about. And we strive to find answers and when we do find something reasonable (or unreasonable but still an answer) we accept it hands down.
For me though, there is something ingrained that doesn’t make me react in an absurd or flamboyant or even distempered way but makes me stay quiet and keep to myself. I honestly in the openness of my mind do not care what people think, one bit. But I know, deep down inside that the fears of what other people think, or say, lurk in the shadows and pull the strings of my “puppet” mind. My parents are who I fear most in terms of pressure. I strive in school mainly to make them proud. At times I know I’m doing it for me but when I’m not up to that, I do it for them. But, I enjoy my quiet side in terms of peers because I truly don’t like being in the center of attention. I do not want to be. Recently I’ve come to realize that I need some encouragement from time to time but never do I want to be lauded for what I do. And I find a Biblical basis for that, for not searching in peer pressure on how to live my life but asking God. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.” That is a verse to live off of. I have a purpose outside of this world so no other power can grasp my life. God declared, “'For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” in Jeremiah 29:11. The life God has for me is a goal I strive for more than any pressure people can put on me. It’s tough and I’m not perfect at it, but what other people think of me becomes nothing compared to what God thinks of me. I try to make every decision of every day on what God would want. My youth pastor, Steve Christiansen, always says, “Present choices affect future lives.”
I think this question is something that teenage lives are built around. When we're growing up, finding out who we are is key. We feel lost if we're different, and boring if we're all the same. So we look towards others to see how they think we should act. People will always stereotype. It's a part of their nature. Most people don't want to fall into the wrong stereotype, so they constantly keep their guard up, trying not to dissapoint their peers. Sometimes they will completely change who they are around certain groups. Maybe they will even drop some of their morals to impress and keep their peers satisfied. These are usually the people with low self esteem. They see others as bigger and better, people they wish they could be more like. I usually don't try to let people influence me. But it's inevitable. The people around us make us who we are. They can effect our moods, which effect our decisions, which in the long run effect our lives. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. Society has convinced people that its good to fit in. In "Shooting an Elephant" the mans dignity and future rested on an elephant's life and how he handled the situation. Had not a crowd grown around the scene, I'm not sure if he would have shot it. But once a crowd came and he knew people wanted him to do it, the pressure built. This seems to get to a lot of people; the pressure. It becomes too much, so they conform to what they think the others want. They lower their standards and believe they higher their approval rate. In reality, most of the time the decisions we make on the impulse of peer pressure, dont even impress our peers.
For quite a few years now it has been my dream to say, “I don’t care what other people think,” and really, truly mean it. Society constantly judges each other, not matter who you are. And every one person, in some aspect of there life, cares what others think of them. Since I was about 12, I have never felt pretty. I believe that I am not pretty, not in the least. I don’t know if I will ever feel any different, and that is because of what people tell me. It is because they judged me, and it hurt. I will not totally put the blame on them; it is my fault for believing it. But why am I to believe the people who tell me that I am pretty, versus the people that tell me I am not? How do I know who is lying and who is really telling me the truth? What other people think weighs heavily on who I am. Our society is based solely on judging. Everyone judges everyone else. There are very few people who do not care who someone is; they will love them no matter what. And I envy that few, because I can not say that I am one of them. I am just as bad as everyone else, and I hate it. The worst part is that I couldn’t tell you why. Except that ever since the world began, everyone has always tried to one up the other. In my opinion, this is where it all started. What I am trying to say is, I don’t know why we all care, I don’t know why it is important, and I wish it wasn’t. But what other people think is solely the reason I am.
“I am whatever you say I am, and if I wasn’t, then why would you say I am?” The wise words of Detroit’s finest speak volumes. The one and only Emeniem planted this adage into the heads of millions, which calls for a great debate. Outside perceptions and thoughts of us matter more to our generation than any other generation before. Today more kids look into their locker mirrors, framed pictures on the walls, and cell phones to see if they look good enough for people to see. The older generations often criticize and denounce our generation, frequently asking what do you care what you look like, it doesn’t effect the way you perform. In my opinion it does and it drives certain people who are to fragile to have self confidence. The peer pressure has escaladed through the roof, and will only continue to do so the way modern kids are acting. People are caring more about how they look when doing something than how effective they are getting that thing done. I have a first hand example of this which shows that everyone is victim to it. For baseball season I bought blue Under Armor wristband to go around my forearms to look good. I placed an emphasis on buying these to look good, even if I wasn’t focused on the game which I love so dear. However I didn’t wear the wristbands for a whole season because I felt my arms weren’t big enough to be worthy or wearing the bands. This all sounds silly, but it is a perfect point. I finally decided to wear them because I got past the point where I didn’t care what people thought of me. My point is that if you can get yourself to the point where you do something because you want to, not because you are afraid of someone else saying something, than in my book, you are a man, or woman in some situations. Just to say one more thing, that point of not caring about what others think shows a high sense of maturity and proves that your head is on the right shoulders. If not, do a self evaluation, you owe it to yourself.
Pressure from other people is like the common cold. It comes and goes from person to person throughout their lifetime. Pressure affects most people’s lives, if not all. Even I am a victim of peer pressure. Despite holding my head high and carrying a box of confidence in my left hand, there are many times in my life where I fall into peer pressure. Whether it is parental pressure, peer pressure, or self-imposed pressure, all people are affected by it. These types of pressure usually come in our teenage life. As teenagers, we are looking to do are best. From sports, to academics, and even to our social life, pressure surrounds our lives. Teens tend to do things that they know are wrong or disagree with to be accepted by other people. No one wants to go through high school being left out nor made fun of. When we are presented with a situation that would make us popular or socially accepted, we automatically do what we have to do to gain that respect. We also experience pressure when it comes to sports and academics. Many athletes experience pressure from their parents and are pressured into making the varsity team. This can add stress into one’s life if they are not able to make the varsity team. When classes get tough in high school, it adds to a person’s stress. The pressure to be in the highest classes can be enough to make a teenager make the decision to be in regular classes and not challenge their abilities. All in all pressure will always affect our lives.
"Life really would be so much easier if we all looked the same, lived in the same kind of house, and made the same amount of money." – I would have to agree with Jo to a certain extent. There would be no point to life if things were this way. Sure it would limit the pressure on a person, but what would the point of life be? Everyone is different and that is what defines a person. If we all were the same and we all made the same amount of money, what would there be to strive for. We work hard and through that hard work we are rewarded.
Whether it's someone walking around saying it, or whether you're reading it on someone's 'about me' section on their myspace, everyone always tries to deny the fact that they care what people think about them. I honestly get so frustrated whenever I have to read or hear "I don't care what people think about me!" Everyone knows that there is at least the smallest part of them that cares what the person across the room in math class is thinking about their outfit. Even if it's the girl who you always catch in sweatpants and a hoodie, she knows that inside she cares what the other kids are saying. I'm not exactly sure why we all care so much about what our peers perceive us to be. It's a question that has been posted again and again, yet still we strive for the perfect answer; the answer that will solve all problems. With all of the peer pressure out there to fit the 'norm' building more and more everyday, kids and even adults of all ages have a reason to be just a little more self-concious.
Personally, I have come to believe that we all care about what other people perceive us to be because after awhile, we start to think the same way as they do. Eventually all of the things others perceive us to be will be the way that we perceive ourselves. For example, if people continually tell you that you're ugly, eventually after hearing it so many times, you're going to start thinking that you're ugly, as well. The way that other people view us influences everything we do; every action we take. It influences the clothes we buy (hoping that our jeans don't make us look 'fat'), the classes we take (because AP/honors makes you look 'smart'), even the things we say amongst each other (can't say anything that will offend anyone!). We're always striving to be accepted by the next person and to accept the person before us. If we all acted like ourselves and didn't care what people thought of us, I'm sure everything would be completely different. Like the wise Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
This reminds me of this journal we had to do last year. The question was something like, “If there was a pill you could take that would make you 5% smarter but would make other people perceive you as 10% dumber, would you take the pill?” Very few people said they would. I guess that shows how important other people’s perceptions of us are. I really think that we should be perceived the way that we really are. No false impressions, no unfair reputations. We need to act and present ourselves as we really are. We should be happy with ourselves and be confident in who we are. If you’re not happy with how you’re perceived, then you can change it. Not everyone is out to see you fall and wants you to do things that could eventually destroy you. Maybe someone’s comment or pressure can help you. Of course, you should never do something just because another person told you to. You need to assess if it’s something you’re willing to change, i.e. it doesn’t go against your values and the basis of who you are. If you keep peer pressure in check, and maintain control over how it affects you, then it can almost be a useful tool. If perception is so important in getting ahead with your life, building relationships and feeling good about yourself, it’s probably good to know what it is. I guess I’ve been thinking abut this some lately. I keep seeing people get really upset when someone tries to make some harmless suggestion or observation. I think the reason why they get so upset over a true observation is that they don’t want to believe it, they don’t think it’s possible to fix, and/or they don’t want to do anything about. Obviously, if you can’t deal with criticism, something about it bothers you, and it’s probably because it’s true. I know last year I finally got fed-up with people always telling me I’m so quiet and I never talk. I thought about it and realized that I really did have a lot to say, but when I wasn’t with my immediate family or close friends, I wouldn’t say much. I worked on it, and I still am, and I think I’ve made a lot of headway. I understand myself much better and I’m okay with who I am and how others perceive me. I want others to see me how I really am, not just for them, but for me. I have so much more confidence now that I never had before. One thing that few people realize is that everyone is insecure about themselves in some way. People will admire you if you’re truly confident in who you really are.
Pressure, perception, and influences each of these words can have major affects on people and myself included. Without ever realizing at times I let the perceptions of other dictate the person I am and the way I act. For different situations peer pressure doesn’t bother me one bit but as I grow older the pressure gets stronger and beings to wear me out. Lately, I have been feeling stressed out and I think it is more than just school work and sports, it is the pressure to be liked. I have set goals with parties and things to not break under that pressure like going to parties or drinking. As I grow older though the pressure of boyfriends and girlfriends starts to go through my head. I have never worried about it before until lately. I feel the pressure that I will never get a boyfriend. I feel like I will always be “one of the guys” but never actually liked by the guys. This year I have really started to notice this pressure growing on me and I don’t know why I care so much. I guess it is because I feel like by junior year you should have at least gone out with someone already. I feel like an outcast, I guess, even though I know I am not alone.
Another strong pressure on my life is my parents and my family. I have a brother I look up to so whenever he comes to watch me play soccer or I do something I just want to show him the best I can be. The other day he came and watched my soccer game. I made sure I scored for him, but I can always do better in my family. After the game, his first words to me were you need to work on this and this and you can do this better. My parents are also just like my brother. The pressure from my parents is probably one of my most overwhelming fears. I always feel like I have to do my best or be the best for my parents to be happy, but even when I feel like I tried my best that is never good enough. I feel like there is always something wrong. I could put my best effort out but I could always work on something else. The pressure from my parents though helps be to strive for the best and become the best that I know I can be. My parents have the biggest influence on me which sometimes is good for me and sometimes not. There are times if I get a bad grade I try to hide my mistakes from them but they always find out anyway. They cause me to set goals and try to reach them and become what they believe I can be. I honestly believe if they did not push me to my limits since I was younger or if I didn’t have an other brother I probably wouldn’t be taking this class right now nor would I be playing four different sports. My family has been a major influence or “pressure” in my life, which has created me to become the person I am here today.
Although my parents have helped me become this person I also put all of the pressure on myself. I think my parents set the ideas in my head but as I grow older I just keep enforcing them and keep pushing myself to my limit. I can’t settle for anything less than my best. I get angry with myself when I know I can do better. I have come to realize all of the pressure from the outside world, my family, my friends, and school has caused me to become a stronger person physically and mentally and allowed me to push my self to the limit through the obstacles of pressure. At times, I wonder why I allow myself to let pressure control my life, but I feel my life strives off of pressure and it makes me become a stronger person.
Like Niah said peer pressure is a sign of weakness, but it doesn’t mean that only weak people are vulnerable to it. I believe that peer pressure is just a way to escape all that lonliness and laughter that surrounds us, for example a class clown may not necessarily like being funny, but rather they want everyone to laugh at them on purpose instead of being laughed at by accident. People expect a class clown to be funny all the time, when they become serious people don’t think it’s serious. This can also happen to a seemingly ignorant person who is actually a bright student. There are many cases in which people cave into the pressure that they need to be what they are told to be and if not they’re too different. In shooting an elephant the European guy didn’t want to shoot the elephant, but due to the thousands of people watching him, chanting him on he couldn’t refuse. He didn’t want to be teased nor laughed at everytime he walks down the street. This caused him to kill an innocent elephant.
I get influenced by people all the time, especially from my cousin Marilyne. My cousin was from France and she had this totally different style than anybody I’ve seen in the family and because she was older than me I decided to talk to her and somehow I ended up liking the same things as her. At a younger age I thought that mtv was evil, but when I started watching it, I was like wow I like this show or music video. I was a dorky girl who doesn’t really care about how she really looked and felt very alone in school all the time. My cousin made me laugh and talk a lot and now I talk a bit more in school everyday and care how much I look like. If you thought I am quite now, you should’ve seen me back then, very timid and would never be able to stand up on my own.
I also get peer pressured pretty easily too. When someone asks me for answers on the homework or on a test, I always get this feeling inside me saying no, but it’s too small and I end up telling them the answers. Either I feel pity towards them or I feel lower than them. I wish I can choose my own path without peer pressure, but it’s a hard step to take. Sometimes life can drag you down a road you don’t want to go.
I think that influence is a way to grow up and peer pressure is what Niah said, weak. There is no one in this world that has never been influenced nor peer pressured into doing something or acting like someone. When you like someone, you want to be the someone they like, when you’re alone you want to be funny and loud, and when you’re weak you want to smile.
Pressure is like a plague that continues to grow. There aren't many people that don't put pressure on you. Every morning you wake up you are automatically pressured. You are pressured to dress a certain way, smell a certain way, and even talk a certain way. Everybody is an artist. We paint a picture on ourselves and people criticize it. Although it might not what you want people to think they still make that judgment. So then every time you go to paint yourself you do it so people judge you in a good way. Everybody's goal is to just be accepted whether it is by your classmates, parents, and teachers. In school you are always looking up. There is always someone smarter, better looking, and “cooler" (whatever that word means). This puts the weight of always competing to be better, and to get what that person is. If we dissected some kids in school we wouldn't even be able to recognize them. With the social part out of the way...how about the parental pressure. Maybe you’re a kid who wants to spend all day in school in art class, but instead you’re stuck in AP Calculus. This pressure is brought on by your parents and the school staff. For example that lecture our "guidance" department gave. The whole time was just them telling us we need to do better and only things for college or else we'll pretty much fail. There getting their point across but I do not believe it is the right one. Pressure will always be a monkey on our backs and it stinks.
This is ironic that this is the topic because this was one of my themes in my occasional paper. Quite frankly I can’t even give you an answer as to why I give (expletive) what people think about me. But regardless as much as I may claim that what people think about me doesn’t matter to a certain extent it does. A lot of times I base my actions on what people will say about me if I react a certain way. Every morning millions of teenagers wake up and put mask on we go through the motions of getting ready for our day and prepare for what the next person has to say about you today whether its about the new shirt you bought or way our hair is done. We are pressured to fit into a certain mold society has laid out for us. This is common in high school and is one of the main reasons why fights break out. Although you may be trying to avoid a fight with someone because you’re the bigger person and you know whatever you and the person are arguing about is not important because people are around and may have just witnessed you get “punked” you therefore become obligated to retaliate. From a young age you are taught that as you get older you never want to carry a stigma of a “bad” reputation, and it just so happens that the people that are responsible for deeming you with your reputation are your peers. Whether or not you’re a “lame” or “popular” a “weirdo” or “miss congeniality” so how can society not expect they’re to be such things as peer pressure when we are faced with stereotypes and young ages. As far as your parents go that’s where the most pressure to be something your not comes from. For example my mom still thinks I’m taking AP history this year when I never even applied for it. I knew that I really didn’t like history so that in itself would make it an obstacle for me and also that I would struggle so much. But, I chose not to tell my mom because she would be disappointed and give me some speech to make me feel guilty about something that would probably hurt me more than help me in the long run. If anyone can honestly say that what people say has absolutely no effect on what you do it’s a lie and honestly you probably have got so used to doing what other people expect you to do that you probably do it sub conscientiously. There are plenty of leaders who are pressured to do things that they feel is not right (Niah) but the truth of the matter is those same “leaders” would not be where they are if its wasn’t for someone putting pressure on them so they would not want to be in a position that others peoples ideas has such a large affect on you. So does that make you less of a leaders not all peer pressure is necessarily bad either the pressure for you to be better than someone else may be just what you need to apply yourself and excel.
I believe that the origin of peer pressure and all the other social pressures are rooted in society itself. In every society, not just our own, people are forced to conform; those who do not fit in are ostracized. If you don’t believe me, just walk into any office building; every single person will be wearing the same kind of clothes and act the same way. Those people most likely don’t want to dress or act that way, but they have to to keep their job. Society and all those things that go with it, like religion and culture, are all about uniformity. People who don’t fit this social mold are not accepted and will not be able to climb the social ladder.
So to answer your questions, we care because we have to care to some extent; if we don’t present ourselves in the “proper” fashion, we will not make it in the world. How much a person lets other people’s perceptions of them influence them is totally individual. Personally, I don’t care all that much about what people think of me, but I won’t do things that will hinder my success. On the other hand, there are people whose whole life revolves around trying to impress other people.
Ultimately, I think that the tendency of people to worry about other peoples perceptions of them is a trait developed solely by growing up in society. As we age, we see other people worrying about other peoples perceptions of them, so we tend to develop the trait ourselves. Rousseau’s “noble-savage” however, wouldn’t possess this trivial trait. There is no need for an isolated man to worry about what the bears, deer or birds think of him; that would only be a weakness. It’s a weakness in society too though, but a weakness that is unavoidable.
That is a very good question. Why do we care? I have no idea why i care about what other people think about me. I try to not let other people's opinion of me bother me, but usually it does. Usually people don't want to be classified as that weird kid, or something else along those lines. I even try to tell other people to not worry about what other people think. But if i was in their shoes, i would have been uneasy and worried about what other people were thinking too. I guess i am a hypocrite. But, oh well, everyone cares about what other people think, even if they don't let it on.
I think if there wasn't any peer pressure, there wouldn't be any cliques , etc. People wouldn't try to fit into any particular group and would just be themselves. If everyone was just themselves, the world would be a better place. Sometimes, pressure to fit in can go as far as killing someone else to join a club or gang, etc. Everything just gets blown out of proportion, but in actuality, most of the things people worry about are insignificant in the grand scheme of life. Overall, people should just learn to like who they are and just embrace it. Hopefully i will try to live by those words and become a better person.
Since about 2nd or 3rd grade, it has been a large part of my character that I reject the idea of popularity. I have never cared for conforming myself towards the norm of society, and I have never considered normalcy something to be aimed for. Don’t get me wrong; being an actor, a cheering crowd is something I love more than few other things in this world. This is different, because this is being recognized for what I personally love, rather than for what others would love me to be. For me I think a lot of the reason for trying to be my own man is my faith. I have always taken the point of view that if my God is for me, then who can be against me? I see no reason why should I make the supreme purpose of my life be to please people who are just as flawed as me, if the Supreme Being himself is pleased with me. And so I for many years have relied on this sort of rugged individualism.
In the end though, even the most self reliant of men can have their nonconformist nature beaten back by one thing; women. The desire for love has become such a strong motivating factor in our culture that no amount of determination can completely topple its affect on the psyche. All humans are willing to push themselves to their limits for the mere idea of love. Though it is possible to form relationships without sacrificing one’s own individual values, the pressure to become the perfect man can often stray to deep for anyone to handle. Sex has become the biggest issue found in the high school environment. All other issues take a back seat to who’s dating who. This need to be attractive to the opposite sex profoundly affects all actions. It changes how we eat, what we where, what we say, what we do, and even the most remedial levels of personal hygiene. That is why it is fundamentally important for any person to create relationships with people who generally accept them for who they really are. Beyond that, its all just an act.
^_^
When I read Shooting an Elephant, I was upset. I think it was because it reminded me of middle school, which upset me to such a degree I wrote about it in my "personal connection" section of my RRL. Middle school was not a very happy time for me. I felt so pinned down by labels placed upon me by other people I felt unable to move. Actually, I was able to move, but I felt my every move was tracked, like everyone was watching and waiting to see what I did next. I cared so much about other people's opinions when I was in middle school. Now, I'd like to say I'm completely free from that burden, but if I attempted to write that with 100% honesty, I'd be lying. I think that the opinions of others determine at leat some facet of everything we do. I can honestly say, though, that I am comfortable with who I am and while peer pressure definitely exists, I don't let in affect me. What Joe and others have brought up in their blogs about having as a given of living in society today to care what other people think is very accurate. For example, am I not supposed to care what a college admissions officer thinks? I think the idea of not caring what people think means living for yourself, making decisions that will be beneficial to you, not to anyone else. I don't think we're actually meant to care what people think. I just think as a society we place a lot of value on the opinions of others.
The whole world is made up of different types of people. There people are known as leaders and follows. Everyone in their own way is boxed into one of these categories and every once and a while there is an occasional loner or unique person. Leaders are defined as people who create perceptions, and certain ways to do or say something, while followers listen to these perceptions and do as told. Sometimes it is not only a matter of fitting in but a matter of peer pressure also. One of the most common types of peer pressure is in the form of a compliment. Like, when a friend or peer, tells you something one day like, “Your hair looks nice today.” It is most people’s reaction to that statement to try as hard as possible to obtain that certain hair style again the next day. It is to boost our confidence, though as soon as someone tells us they don’t like it, we don’t ever do it again. We as students or even society feel a need to prove a point. We have to prove that we fit in or are “cool.” In reality though everyone likes to receive compliments or have someone tell them they like something about them. Though it all leads back to the leader/follower idea. Are we all followers for taking the advice or compliments and following it or doing our hair the same way the next day? I think we are. Being a follower is not necessarily a bad thing though. People can be a follower and add their own flare at the same time. Society is full of flare, which is why we are the “melting pot.” Our diverse population creates different opinions which in the end creates different perceptions that people follow.
I think people care about what other people think because they want to “fit in” with the “cool” crowd. Some people don’t want to feel left out so they change who they are to have friends that aren’t really true friends. True friends don’t pressure you to do stuff you don’t want to do. My mom always told me to be different and not blend it. I don’t think I am different but in some ways I probably am. I know before when I was a freshman all I did was care about what other people thought of me because my self-confidence was low. Now that I’m a junior I really don’t care what other people think of me; there are some exceptions though. People just try too hard to be like everybody else. Niah is right; being a leader is hard because everybody looks up to you. Many people are followers for one of two reasons: they are too worried about what other people think to even attempt to be different and/or they don’t want the responsibility to become a leader. Parental pressure is forced upon almost everybody. Your parents want you to do well in school so you can get into a good college and become successful. My parents stressed everyday of my life once I entered middle school on how important my grades were. They put a tremendous amount of pressure on my brothers and me, especially my brothers. They want them to be just as smart and motivated as me and took take as many honors or AP classes as possible in high school. My mom pressures my brother, who is in 6th grade, to be number one of his 8th grade class, just like me. My parents know I do well in school so they don’t bother me that much anymore about my grades. As I said before, I really don’t care anymore about what most people think of me. I am my own person and I will live and act the way I want. I force myself to do well in school so later on in life I can achieve my goals and be happy.
People's perception of you makes you act differently because people try to live up to other people's expectations. In my own life experiences, this has stayed true.
When i was little and just starting golfing, many people were impressed by what i could do at such a young age. This perpelled me to do everything i could do to get as far as i can in the sport.
So far i hope that i have lived up to people's expectations by becoming captain this year and hopefully play in college. But listening to people deffinitely influenced my life by telling me what they thought of me. My life now could be totally different playing baseball for another school instead of playing golf for oakcrest. The reason people's opinion of you affects you is because thats the society we live in today. Your status is based on how much you make or by what people think of you.
The reason for people caring about peer pressure can vary on how that person feels about themselves. If they are insecure, then sometimes they might worry about pleasing the people around them in order to spare cruel jokes or the inability to fit in. However, if some people are overly secure, a braggart, or just don’t care about what others think about them then they may not be affected by the effects of peer pressure. In schools peer pressure can take a great toll on the lives of people and how they cope with living each day. Some may try their hardest to look cool and may do whatever is asked of them, while some of the others may try and avoid contact with the people who supply the peer pressure to them. I know of some friends who worry about their appearance in the “cool group” of kids in school, they would do whatever necessary to be popular even if they had to go against their basic beliefs. This is not the way people should try and live their lives because in the future they will not be truly happy.
Personally, I could care less what people think of me. I do not believe in giving in to peer pressure, because I can withstand the trials that follow after not doing what others wish for me to do. Sometimes, just by sticking to your beliefs, people will not think any differently of you. However, if you give in too often just to look good then they will think that you only want to look cool and would do anything to be popular which is a turn-off for many. I do not do things I don’t feel like doing, there have been cases in my life when I went against what a whole crowd of people wanted me to do, and I turned it down because I have enough dignity to say no.
“No child is immune to peer pressure.”-KATHI HUDSON
For the most part this quote is true. There shall forever be some type of pressure that each and every kid will give into. This is only because no one can completely avoid it; there will always be a scenario where some type of peer pressure will kick in even if it is not a bad type of pressure. The types of peer pressure that apply to me are the types that involve my family members and trying to make them proud of me. If they are content then I feel as though I have accomplished something, even if I did not wish to do it. An example of this would be like taking Italian 3, I did not wish to take this but many of my family members said how cool it would be, or how important it will turn out in my future. Yet, as far as making society around me happy by doing the wrong things goes, I could care less.
Bunje, this is a question I can relate to but yet I cant answer. Since this question has been posted I have look at it like a million times(hyperbole) but yet I still didn’t find an answer to it and now I’m just doing it because it is due in a couple of hours.
Why do we care so much on how people look or think of us? That I don’t know .But I know why people do certain things out their will and that if they were asked to do it wouldn’t usually volunteer to. Its because they are scared on how people will look at them like in “Shooting an Elephant”. I myself have been in situations where I have done something or said something to someone because I didn’t did want someone to say I was a coward or I was “corny”. So this goes back to the question on why would I care if people thought I was a coward or corny.
In the words of Bob Marley “ Who are you to judge the life I live, I know I’m not perfect and don’t claim to be so before you judge me make sure your hands are clean.” One thing I don’t understand is that we are constantly judging others and cant take the judgments of other but yet we still do it.
The perception of others can also have a positive and not always a negative effect on us. If someone perceive you as being dumb and it got to you, you would try you hardest to prove them wrong and show them that you are capable of doing what they said you couldn’t. I used this as my example because I can relate to it this year. I’m sure there’s people in the AP program that look at the college prep student that came up as less of an intellectual persons then there self because we have not been really exposed to the work that they have been doing, that’s why this year I am striving to prove them wrong and say “I can do it and when I do it, I will do exceptionally well”.
P.S. Bunje, but why do I care on what people think of me?
I don't think that we should worry about what other people think of us. Since you are your own person, no one else's opinion on you should have an effect on the choices that you make throughout life. We care so much about other people's judgement because we want the ability to be able to impress everyone and make a superior impression. I believe that the only preceptions that one should be concerned with is their own, or their loved ones. If one listened to what everyone they met in life had to say, no one would be their own person or have a shaped character of their choice. Loved ones, such as family, are only there to help and guide you in the right direction, so by taking into consideration what they have to offer it may be most beneficial in the long run. The way you feel about yourself, though, is most crucial in contentment. Although the people that we meet and form relationships with alter the person we become in one way or another, it is important to end up being who you want to be. Peer pressure, parental pressure, and self-imposed pressure all play a vital role in sculpting your character. I know that in life, my parents are always the ones that have the greatest impact on me. They know what is best for me and they will always tell me what is right and what is wrong. As for self-imposed pressure, I believe that it is the most important aspect of becoming youre own person. You should always follow your heart and do what makes you happy. You should definately consider people's preception and how they view you as a person; however, if you let them change you completely you will never find happiness.
Peer pressure is a big deal and very prevelant in our society today. It is always taught very young, especially when talking of drugs, mostly cigarettes, not to give into peer pressure and smoke. This is definitely the most evident peer pressure but there can be other pressures both good and bad. There can be good pressures as well as bad ones. Good friends and family will pressure you into doing things that will benefit you in the long run. For example, (and yes i know I always talk about my girlfriend...) my girlfriend helps me alot when it comes to finishing homework and getting through my rough schedule. She makes sure i do my homework and do well on my assignments, as i also do for her.
We try not to care what others think, and in a perfect world no one would judge others and there would be no need to care what others thought of you. But this isn't a perfect world and people do care what others think. I won't lie, I care about what people think of me. For the whole summer I tried so hard to become a captain of the football team and i succeeded. I wanted to be the person and teammate everyone looked up to, i wanted to be the leader of the team. Though alot of people may want the power for the wrong reasons, maybe just so they could boss people around, I wanted it in order to make the team better and create a family within our team and turn our program around. I only care what a select few people think of me because they're either people who truly care about me or can contribute to success in my or a loved one's life.
We care so much about what others think simply because it has become or always was human nature.
There are endless answers to the question, “To what extent do other people’s perceptions of you have an impact on the decisions you make?” because everyone is different. A lot of people do certain things because they want to be seen a certain way. Someone would be lying if they said that they didn’t care whatsoever how people perceived them. I think everyone cares a smidge about how people perceive them; some just care too much. People’s perceptions of you can be something as little as whether they think that you’re smart or not. These perceptions can sometimes affect the way people act because people who are seen as being “smart” are usually taken more seriously. People want to be taken seriously at some point. If you don’t try in school, a lot of people might not take you seriously. Then when something comes along where you need to be taken seriously, people might still not perceive you as serious. This could be a reason why someone would want to be perceived as being smart.
I think some people let peer pressure effect the way that they act because they are afraid of rejection. They just want to blend in and fit the “norm” because society and peers today are overly harsh. People make fun of people they don’t even know and pick out other people’s insecurities because they have nothing better to do. Some people can’t handle the pressure of being the target so they just mold themselves to fit the form of a group. They would rather change to have people perceive them positively then be pointed out. It’s apparent that parental pressure will have an effect on people because, I mean, it is your parents. Most want to please their parents, so they will do what it takes to reach some kind of expectations set by them. Some people have harsher parents than others and are forced to act differently than normally for their acceptance. If parents have high expectations for their children, their children will most likely try to reach those expectations. I think self- imposed pressure has a major role in how you act. I don’t see how there is any way for it to not influence the way you do things. I think no matter what, you always put some kind of pressure on yourself. Some people like me over exert themselves with pressure and make things harder than they need to be. A reason why people obviously care about self- imposed pressure is because it’s stressful. No one wants to put pressure on themselves. It causes you to act differently because you want to relieve that pressure. People will do what it takes to relieve them of that self- imposed pressure.
I think people’s perceptions and expectations have effects on people because it is in our nature to want to please people. I don’t think it’s typical for someone to want people to hate them. I don’t think that means that you should change to be liked. Personally speaking, I would rather not have people hate me. That doesn’t mean though that I’m going to change to have them like me. Sometimes you just have to not give a rat’s a** whether people hate you or not. I don’t think that others’ perceptions have an overly huge influence on my actions, but I’m not going to lie and say that they don’t have any at all. I think some people allow people’s perceptions to have such a big influence on them because they aren’t quite certain how they perceive themselves. I think those who have a better grasp on how they perceive themselves are less influenced by the perceptions of themselves by others.
While reading the blog, all I could think about were Kylie and Felecia's occasional papers. Both of them had felt pressure whether from friends or family. These two are also the biggest pressures I have in my life. My family is always expecting me to get straight A's and be in the top 10 and become some great doctor. But the worst part is, is that I don't even think they know they are pressuring me. My friends also don't pressure me on purpose either. But that pressure is there. The other question is why we give in to that pressure. For me, it is because I need those people. If I didn't do what I thought they wanted me to do, I would feel like I disappointed them. We do what others want us to do so then we have people in our lives that like us. It's the peer pressure to do something you know is wrong, that I can't understand. I guess I give in to the pressure put on me from my church (which to me isn't a negative pressure) enough that I am strong enough not to give in to the pressure from people that want me to do bad things. There are so many different types of peer pressure, that so many people, I think, get confused and don’t know who to listen to.
It is only human nature (I pray) to want to make other people happy. I know I make my parents happy when I get my report card and I am eighth in my class. I know I make my friends happy when I agree to go see a movie with them that I might not really want to go see. But I make myself happy when I give in to the pressure from my church. I wish there was a way that people could see that giving in to the negative peer pressure is probable the worst thing they could possibly do. But peer pressure is something that we all have to live with, and there isn’t an easy way to make it go away.
I have read a few posts about how people don't care what others think of them -- that they "just do what they want." Oh, really? Does anyone who has said this have a job or care to have a job? No matter what age you may be, people's perceptions of you really do matter in this regard. For example, if you are applying for a full-time job, you want to create a resume that will reflect yourself in a positive light as well as impress your employer in the interview through your enthusiasm, I.Q. about your job, and even how you dress. Do people do this just for the fun of it? Of course not. People do this so that they will get the job. But, if the employer does not perceive you as an asset to the company, you will be let go.
From a social standpoint, I think that kids care about what others think of them because they want love as well as to be loved. No one wants to be the "odd man out" or get picked on. So, people will show off or fall into peer pressure in order to gain popularity and, thus, be loved.
So, anyone who says that they don't care about what others think of them is lying, whether intentionally or not. If your parents call you a waste of protoplasm, if your teachers think that you are a failure, if your peers say that you are a "dirty whore," you really do care. Because whoever outwardly claims that they don't care about what others think of them is just using that as an excuse to cover up their true feelings and the truth: that they really do care. I don't mean to sound a bit blunt or straight forward, but I just feel that everyone cares about what others think of them because, like I said, it is human nature to want to be loved.
I must say that even though we have not had too many blogs this year this is my favorite. I often find myself telling my friends “do not care what people think about you. It’s your opinion that matters”, but do I listen to my own advice? I definitely try to and to not care what others think of me, but when you are a 16 year old girl its kind of hard not to. I would like for everyone to like me, but I know that is not the case. But in all honesty, I can not think of one person that I know that everyone likes. Nobody is perfect and at least someone somewhere in the world is going to have a problem with the way you look, the way you act, or even who you are friends with. I hate how some people think it is ok to judge a person without even really knowing them. I feel so pressured sometimes, well no more like always, to live up to everyone’s expectations for me. I sometimes find that I am stressing more because I am trying to make everything, such as a project, perfect just so people wont look at it and be like “eww look what a crappy job she did”. And for swimming, I feel like if I don’t have a good time or if I don’t beat some stupid freshman my coach is going to look down on me because I’m not as good as he expects me to be (and let me tell you, I have definitely had that happen). Even if I try my hardest I feel like it is not good enough for anyone anymore. Everyone expects so much out of people and I think that’s why most of us are living such stressful lives.
Okay, so this is pretty much perfectly and exactly true. Everyone gives in to peer pressure everyday. Usually, it is the small things such as whether or not to wear a certain shirt because you don't know if your friends will like it. However, sometimes it is the large things like drinking and smoking. Scome people choose to do this on their own, however a lot of kids do this simply because they are around it and other people are. This is so wrong, but it is physically impossible to stop. If you think about it, it probably isn't possible for someone to live even one day making their own decisions only with themselves and not worrying about or at least thinking about how people will respond to it. I don't know if this is necessarily wrong because a lot of peer pressure is to do good. It can be about grades and friends and helping yourself be better. Your friends want this for you so they encourage you or pressure you to do things this way. Sometimes I wish we could go back to kindergarten. It sounds like such a cliché, but it is so true. In kindergarten you went up and played on the playground with people you didn't know simply because you didn't care about it. You just wanted to make friends so you played on the monkey bars and shared crayons and sat next to someone in story time. You were instantly friends because all that mattered was that you were happy becing around someone and they were nice. I wish it was still like this and things didn't matter. Clothes, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends/crushes, parents, sports, activities, life chioces...these are all factors on which we are all judged everyday. But WHY ?!Honestly, I have no answer to this question. It is the way it has always been and what we have learned to do. It is a behavior that we cannot get rid of because we are so used to it now. It is a part of life that is inevitable, unfortunately. Although some pressure is good, it isn't that common. The pressure most heard of is the bad kind to do things that you woulnd't do alone. So in response to the overall answer, I don't know. I don't think it is a fully bad thing because it helps us see what type of person someone is by the way they act and speak, but the other things shouldn't matter. It does matter, but that is a fact of life that you can only change in yourself. The rest of the world is up to them.
Even though I may say that other people's opinions don't affect the way I think, they do. I think the reason it has such a big impact on the decisions I make is because the people who tell me what they think are the people I care about the most. Of course I'm not going to disregard what my mom thinks...she's the most important person in my life.
It's one of my downfalls, but I'm a very dependent person. I'm always asking my mom what I should do and what I should wear and stupid stuff like that. In a way, I care so much about what people say because I want them to feel like they're needed in my life. If i don't listen to what they think and let what they think have an impact on me, then they might feel like I don't care. I'm trying to get over my dependence on my parents so I don't die when I go to college. It's hard, but I'm slowly getting there. Oh and sorry my blog is late, I thought it was daylight savings.
There are many things that people can say to make you act a certain way. They things people say and do have a large affect on you. Hawthorne says in walden though is that there is no greater affect on the actions of a man then his thoughts on himself. I'm not saying that that is a direct quote but he did say something allong the lines of that. If someone is to tell you you are horrible at something that you love to do and is your life, and embaresses you in front of say 90 kids who are your peers then that has an affect on you. some people can brush that of and some can't and it takes over their life. that exact thing happened to me tonight so. It does bother me but i can brush it off. no matter how many times i try not to think about it, it still gives me anxiety in the back of my throat and makes me become a little more defencive for some time. outside forces have always affected the way people think about themselfs. It's a fact of nature the only way to stop it is to not let it hurt you. It might change you a little but as long as it doesn't harm you it's never that bad for a little change. The latest fasions can make you change the way you look. The latest fads can make you change what you do in you're spare time and how you do the things you do./ Depending on who the person is that says something to you can greatly change the affect of their words. If the person is a nobody to you than the words don't really mean anything to you. If the person though is your idol than the words they say can either make or break your life.
People's perceptions significantly influence actions. Being accepted by your peers is something everyone wants. Nobody wants anyone to hate them and everybody wants to fit in. How does one fit in or be 'cool"? Someone can be considered 'cool" by submitting to other people's perceptions of what makes someone cool.
For example, Above the Influence has a campaign entitled SLOM. Sloming is an acronym which stands for "sticking leeches on myself." Sloming is officially defined as a series of decisions that sucks the life out of a person, used as a noun, or to engage in an activity without thinking, used as a verb. The commercial is a metaphor that shows how the power of peer pressure can influence adolescents to do drugs and drink alcohol. The point I try to make is it's obvious that other people are influenced to a certain extent and a person will always conform to peer pressure. I have no doubt in my mind that press pressure does exist. I've seen it happen many times people. People fold because of peer pressure, because the desire to be "cool" is greater than the personal beliefs of the victim.
Last year is Mr. Costals class, we had a journal entry about a pill that made you smarter, it went something like this:
A new pill that can make you smarter is invented. The only catch is, if you swallow this pill, you will become 10 percent more intelligent than you currently are. However, to all other people you know (and people you will meet from here on out) you will seem 20 percent less intelligent (than you were to begin with). In other words, you will immediately become smarter, but the rest of the world will perceive you as dumber and there is no way you can ever alter their perception. Do you take the pill?
I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't take the pill. Even though I would be smarter, I am losing a greater percentage to being perceived as less intelligent. I would not be in AP classes if someone decided that I wasn't smart enough to be in them. Their perception of me is that I am smart enough to do well in an AP class. My actions are influenced, and I feel positively about it. However, if someone's perception is that I am not smart, then I may have a negative look on AP classes. I would think they are hard and I would never try to do them myself, because that's what I was told. The debate over this journal assignment lasted a few days. By the end, a vote was casted and almost everyone said they would not take the pill.
Of course pressure has an extreme affect on us. For some of us, pressure is a bad thing, we crash and burn once too much pressure is exerted upon us. I, for the most part, am the exact opposite. I thrive under pressure, but mainly by pressure of my own. No one puts as much pressure on myself as I do. I pressure myself to get all of my work done, get the high grades, kick butt at drumline, and everything else. The reason that I care is because that pressure drives me forward and provides me with the will to excel in everything that I do. Sometimes, however, when outside forces place too much pressure on me, I tend to fold and crack. As much as I hate it, I do care about other people’s perceptions of me, but only the people who matter, the people who care about me. I care about teachers, my mom, my best friends. All of those people will end up having a great effect on how my future will unravel. If a teacher doesn’t think very highly of you, they will not write you a nice recommendation letter to the college you want to attend. If you go to a college interview, and the admissions officer doesn’t think that you are the right person for their college, then they will not accept you. These kinds of everyday things have great effects on the outcome of your future. To me, college has got to be the most stressful thing I am worrying about right now, and I really don’t even need to start worrying about applying until next year. But right now is the time to start working harder and making those good impressions that will help me out in the long run for college and beyond.
Personally, I would like to think that people’s perception doesn’t at all impact the decisions I make. Realistically I know that’s false. I think that people are their own worst critics and societies perceptions are just there to either support or reject what you perceived to have been right/wrong. We care about what people think because acceptance among your peers is something highly valued in society. It’s especially valued at our age. We all look to get some kind of acceptance because it’s comforting. I try to be as smart as I can be because of one 2 major reasons the first being that I want success. The second being that I don’t want people to call me dumb or perceive me as being dumb. If people in life perceive you as being dumb that stifles opportunity. You can’t be successful if people think you’re dumb. (Unless you’re Paris Hilton) I’m not saying that perceived intelligence is better than intelligence itself, but if two people walk in for an interview one being smarter than the other but the other smarter one dressed like a slob. The really smart slob has a really high risk of not getting that job because first impressions are everything. That’s the first time someone can really get a feel for who you are and make presumptions about you. Whether those presumptions are true or not you get to prove yourself after someone gives you the opportunity. It’s a human character to be presumptuous. We always try to think ahead. I guess you could say that society has led individuals to think that they have reason to perceive others in certain ways to gain acceptance and allow for success.
Everyone cares about what others think. It’s the degree in which individuals choose to care that makes individuals…. INDIVIDUALS.
Why do I care about what people think about me? Well, I don't. Well, a little. Basically, when it comes to what others think of me I only care because of one thing. When someone is talking about Amber Cruse I want it to be something positive. Some girls are labeled as hoes or sluts, while some are ugly or just have a bad attitude. Personally, I like for people to say nice things about me like that I'm nice, or funny, of pretty. Negativity is something I try to abstain from. This is why I act the way that I do. Now, when it comes to peer pressure, I can admit, I used to give in to it. Now, that I am older, I realize how whack everyone is to me. When I say whack, I am not trying to put anyone down as a person, I just think about the people that TRY to influence me, and realize that I could never want to be like them. However, since I've admitted about the peer pressures of when I was younger, I can name a few of them. Of course, I'd feel insecure when it came to my hair, if it looked a mess that day. Because of peer pressure, I did a lot of things I would not have normally done. What I'm about to say is big, something I could only share with my peers, but because of peer pressure, I lost my precious virginity. At the time, it seemed like everyone was doing it, and they were, but I just wanted to see how it was since everyone said it was "so great". The boy was a piece of shit (SORRY FOR THE LANGUAGE BUT I'M GETTING MAD) and I hated him for a long time. I hate peer pressure so much. It ruined my childhood. It's hard for me to find an answer as to why I give a damn about what anyone else has to say. Thank GOD I grew out of that horrible stage. Now, it's a difference about the peer pressure that I'm influenced by today. It's only what I allow and only from the people I care about. Now, I will talk about the topic about the other pressures in my life. I don't really get pressured by my mom because she supports me in everything that I do; except when I don't clean my room! +) however, when it comes to my dad, it's another story. This is a sensitive subject when it comes to me. My father was always there, just never there for me. He tries to influence me in way that I don't agree with. He's not a major part of life, but he lives 10 minutes away. That's what's hard to believe. I can just go to his house, to see my siblings, but the way he pressures me is too much. My mom and dad are complete opposites when it comes to raising me. My dad is the type of guy that doesn't EVER want me to have a boyfriend and get straight A's, when my mom realizes girls like boys, and won't trip if I get a C even thought I don't. I love that about my mom. The parental pressure from my dad is the exact thing that keeps us so far apart even though we live 10 minutes down the road. My self pressures are what I'm most proud of. Although my mom doesn't pressure me to do anything I don't want to; except CLEAN MY ROOM, I have learned to pressure myself. I am the one who chose to take AP Lang, not peer pressure or parental. I am the one that requested to take the class. My self pressures aren't anything too extreme, which is the main reason I feel so well rounded. Pressure is sometimes bad, but it can be good too. Between the peer, parental, and self imposed pressure, I feel as though my own self-imposed pressure is what makes me who I am.
676 words!
People’s perceptions and expectations definitely have a major impact on what I do. Some of the people that I hang out with outside of school know that I am actually a very relaxed person. In school, though, I’m expected to be loud and obnoxious, and if I’m not, then everyone thinks there’s something wrong with me. Most people don’t get that sometimes I just want to be myself, which is a much more relaxed version than pretty much everyone in Oakcrest knows.
They affect me so much for a couple reasons. The first reason is that if I go against what people expect of me, I’m always bombarded with people asking “What’s wrong?” It’s easier to go with what people expect or want from you because things seem to just flow more. It’s like what people expect is a current in the ocean. It just takes so much energy to do something other than what people expect, and it’s so easy to get caught in the drift, that most people just go with it.
We care so much about what people think and want from us because if we don’t think about others’ perceptions of us, than how can we make any one like us? It’s not true that if you act like yourself than everyone will accept you. We have to act to please others at least once in a while. If we don’t, then how can we expect them to try to please us? It would be unfair of us to expect someone else to do something that we are not willing to do. “Treat others as you want to be treated” is what comes to mind for me. We can’t expect others to go out of their way for us if we don’t go out of our way for them. Sometimes, more for some less for others, we have to act out of character for someone.
Who am I? - A frequently asked question that many of us still do not know. So maybe that is why we are so prone to look to others for this answer. It is so difficult to find the answer for ourselves, so we take the easy way out and depend on others to define us. Take myspace for example, have you ever seen the people who have ten different about me’s all written by their friends? What is this dire need to prove to others that you are what they say you are? Can we not create ourselves? I think all people have thought about what other people thought of them at least once in their life, if not tons of times more. I guess we all want to meet the expectations of others, to be considered acceptable in society, and to acquire a “coolness” only obtained through adjusting to what others want you to be like, to a certain extent that is. Some strive to achieve the approval of their peers, while others really could care less. You could say I worry too much about what other people think about me, but I’m not going to change because of it. Honestly, I am too lazy for that. I think it’s absurd to spend money on wearing the “right” clothes, keep up on the new slang, which is constantly changing, or to have the right amount of friends. These things may not seem important, but really they are. Despite what we may think, these standards will shape who we are and who we will become. Being the faulty humans that we are, we think that what other people see in us is the exact reflection of what we are. I think that we feel restricted to be only what other people see us as. However, I know our true selves lies within us. For some, it may be on the surface, while others may have to search deep inside for who they really are. I believe one day it will come out of us all and a lot more will make sense. It was Thoreau that once said, “Not till we are lost, in other words, not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations” Thoreau says that we must lose the world in order to discover where we stand, without human opinion to influence us. I’m sure this is easier said than done.
For any of you that have said you don’t care what others think of you and you are your own person and you don’t change for others and bla, bla, bla…I think you are completely lying and you probably don’t even realize it. You all are probably so confident that others’ perceptions of you don’t matter to you but, unconsciously, these perceptions are what helped make you who you are today and that’s not a bad thing. Admitting that people care what others think about them makes them seem unconfident, dull, and even fake but why? Why is it shameful to realize that what other people think of you is important and does play a significant role in the making of your lifestyle or qualities? Yes, I do believe people are their own person but to say their “own person” wasn’t effected by outside judgments, perceptions, and even criticisms of others is a flat out lie. I would love to meet the first person who says that they wouldn’t have any second thought about wearing a certain shirt that everyone made fun of before. Now, if someone says, “I don’t care if they don’t like my shirt. If I like it then I’m going to wear it.” That is all well and good but by saying that you are acting from their thoughts because now when you do wear that shirt again, your wearing it with an attitude of making the statement that you don’t care, which by this action, you actually do care and their comments do effect you. It is complicated to explain but people are almost forced, automatically, to take it what others perceive of them and keep that perception in the back of their minds for the rest of their lives, constantly basing their next move from them. Even by saying you don’t care what others think of you is caring, after all, wanting to fit in and not wanting to fit in result in the relevant behavior. If you are purposely NOT following the crowd, you are considering everything people consider is “cool” and doing the opposite…so you do care. Regardless if you want to admit it or not, or even if you still don’t realize it yet, it is impossible to not have other people’s perceptions of you effect you and your actions.
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